Written on my 1st day back in Manch.....

Year 2, Manchester – Operation Thong Has Commenced (Monique)

Day 1…..

It is 00:12am right now, and I am currently jamming in my cosy, toasty, play boy bunny pink double bed (upgraded from single bed prison dorm rooms now sucka!!!) watching Ms Congeniality (yes Caitlin you left it at mine and when I realised I may have temporarily hijacked it…ransom when ready baby girl) instead of sleeping. It’s the brutal makeover scene, I know it may seem grim but one day I swear down when I’m ballin’ that will be me! All-star beauty treatment YES BOY!

F.Y.I- Yes Boy! Is a phrase coined by Denise and Zoe, which we adopted after Italia 2010 holiday extravaganza.

After being held hostage by Virgin Trains on the longest train ride ever, I soon realised 2 things –(8)Mustanggg Sally now Baby!(8), sorry, it’s that time in the movie, I’m fighting singing along with Tom Jones, She’s A Lady lol-

ONE- Cab drivers don’t know jack. After queuing to get a cab, I politely enunciated the name of my road (few people up here understand South Londonese lol), only for him to ask where that was. Bad times, considering I suck at directions.

TWO- Pack light, does not feature in my vocabulary. At all. I went back with an empty suitcase to pick up a few bits, came back with a full case and two bags. One very small girl shifting all that is just not the one.

FRESHERS!!! This week had best be live, no courses etc. only one meeting for me on Wednesday. But I will NOT be caught slipping at all. I have declared war on the freakishly tall, clone like army of TopShopRiverIslandH&MAllSaints glamazons that seem to have flocked to Manchester from their Oxford Street Mother Ship’s (or Flagship stores, same thing really lol).  Your clothes speak before you do right? Some outfits say “Hello Boys”, some say “F You World” or “I’m from the 1950’s”. I want my outfits to say, in the illustrious words of Lethal Bizzle “POW! You don’t know about me!” I don’t even care, I want to look bangin every day if I can. Caitlin knows, my motto: “Why should I not look hot today?”

Money wise, my bank account is stable, but after shopping for basics, food, shoes and uni books, it could become comatose…..

Bad Times.