It's taken me a ridiculous amount of time to actually find the energy to blog these past few weeks. My bed has literally been holding me hostage from everything, from this, to work, to cleaning my yard.
But now with Criminal Minds and New Girl buffering, an almost empty can of Pepsi by my side and a belly full of late night Chinese take-out and PCR (Post Choice Regret - courtesy of my babes Leanne) I'm ready to do this.
So I'm guessing you all know that this post will cover more accounts of casual Quebecois racism....I know that might make some of you put on your #BoredAndFaystyQueenFace
But to all you Cersei haters I say
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| and have a seat. |
If there's anything I've learnt since jumping on the Year Abroad Blogging Circuit (for some reason I feel that needed capitalising), and particularly from one Ms. Hannah D who was part of the ELA Quebec family and fellow blogger who has now moved to Germany for her second semester - no one talks about the hard stuff. I'm not about to sit here and recycle the picture perfect, fake brochure message that residence abroad is all roses, #AintNobodyGotTimeFoThat.
The other thing is a time old saying for writers and journalists (I don't consider myself one, I've just heard it on shows like Ugly Betty etc at climactic moments and it makes sense to me lol) - write what you know. Being black, at least in my own individual experience, I know. Being a woman, well I know but I'm not up on all the feminist lingo and issues etc to run some big discussion. Plus, no one has taken issue with my gender since I've been in Canada, or in any of the other countries I've lived in on Residence Abroad.
So, in short. If someone takes issue with my race +/ nationality, Ima write about it, British Council ELA or not, Manchester Uni student or no.
Plus sometimes it's so ridiculous that I have to write about it, as if documenting the moment will make me and others believe that people can actually be like this.
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Now that my pre-rant is over, Ima get to the main one as I'd rather get this out of the way and then move onto the other stuff I feel like talking about.
And fear not, this post will as usual be heavy on gifs to try and lighten the mood a little.
For those of you that are still with me, roll your eyes one more time then switch to your 'Oooh girl I'm super interested in your story' faces. Here we go.
Case #3 Les Blacks
- Minor Offence
- Unresolved due to me being lost in translation
So, we're in a cabane a sucre (sugar shack) right - gotta love weekends in QC lol - all gathered round for story time....well Uni Freshers/Secondary School ladsladslads tales....and this particular tale was set on athletics day or something where the boys in question (sadly the LBG were the oldest young people there, everyone else was like 18-21...what is this life?) were doing high jumps or long jumps.
If you haven't gathered by now, I was no where near invested in this conversation, the others can confirm lol I was being about as sociable as the chair I was sitting on, only that I had ears. Anywho, all I heard was:
*blah blah blah we had to go do long jumps*
*blah blah blah so the Blacks go first and do really well, then so an so*
* blah blah then it's WhatsHisFace's turn and he says it's not going down like that and he's about to dominate blah blah blah*
So I did what anyone would do. I thank Drake for helping me demonstrate the 2 steps in this process.
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| Pause whatever else was going on and ask yourself did you just hear what you thought you heard. |
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| You turn down the volume of your racial paranoia and check the rest of the audience. Did anyone else there, Quebecois or otherwise react to this? No? Maybe you're wrong.. |
Maybe they meant The Blacks cool athlete nickname or the Black brothers (as in Scott and Luke Black, not "brothas").
Later on in the car Joe asks if storyteller no1 looked at me or anything when he said les blacks because he literally meant "the blacks", not black guys, not black kids, not two black friends, just, "the blacks". So, half an hour ago, I was right. Revert to step one.
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| Say what now? |
Case #2 Mais, tu viens pas d'Angleterre toi?
- Minor but still stupid seeing as she directly challenged what I just told her and it was only me in the car.
- Resolved only by me repeating myself seeing as I didn't want to fight with a stranger (I'd met her at Zumba but never actually had a convo with her) who was giving me a ride home.
It went like this:
*blah blah blah talking about which schools we work at in the area and where we live*
*blah blah I'm helping out teaching English at my school I'm from England blah blah my flatmate does the same thing at your school*
*blah blah oh but wait, you're not from England though are you?*
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| Now wait, didn't I just say that 2 seconds ago? Let me replay the convo in my head real quick. Yep, so how are you asking this? |
After I JUST said so. Why would I lie? Why would you even frame the question in that way, putting in the negative already like there is some discrepancy?
I just repeated what I said and clarified yes, I'm from London, England. Hence I'm teaching English. Like I already said.
Case #1 Mais, ca match pas! a.k.a the one that started it all
- Major offence because it was just plain stupid and done in front of several witnesses.
- Unresolved because between being lost in translation and disbelief that she could be saying what I thought she was saying - and she was - I had her repeat the question and had no comeback for her answer tbh.
Allow me to set the scene. Yet again it's lunch time in the staffroom. Those of you that have me on whats app or FB chat know that that's the time I usually bother you due to my dry as a bone social life and relevance where these teachers are concerned. I mainly only go there to listen to French and not be a complete anti-socialite, phone in hand because no one talks to me and I talk to no one. I couldn't jump in on these convos if I wanted to, either my French is too crusty for me to keep up or I can't get a word in edge ways. This time however a few people are around and one of the new supply teachers is there. Friday class English teacher walks in and speaks to me in English (he loves the English language like no other, I swear) and we make small talk, he's always nice to me. Supply teacher overhears the convo joins in in English but asks if I speak French and where I'm from, I say London and yes but once people know I speak English they switch to that so I can't practise (slight shade as that's just what she did). She then insists I speak French more and the whole break keeps prodding me to join in convos. I loved it. When Cuba came up you know I was on it like Sonic, finally saying my piece. Then, she ruined it.
*blah blah blah but wait you told me you were from London before?*
I thought my accent was off and I mispronounced the word so I repeated myself.
*blah blah yeah that's right I'm from London*
*blah blah London, but how's that, that doesn't make sense (literally: that doesn't match [up])*
Now let me walk you through the split second reactions that took place at this point in the convo.
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| Me pausing to clarify if I've missed something. Is match-pas some funky Quebecois expression I hadn't heard yet or something? |
She holds my forearm and rubs it and says
*Oh well, if you'd said Zimbabwe that would have made sense sure, but....*
First. She, like case #2 assumes that, even though I already said so, I can't be from London.
Second. She offers the logical solution/suggestion that I must be from an African country....as a joke ofc.
In her slight defence maybe she has only come across African families that have migrated to Quebec. But still. I just told you I'm an assistant from England, from London. Why is it hard to accept that my mum was at some point 9 months pregnant in London, gave birth there, and raised me there? Not complicated at all. Also, let's skip the whole Caribbean and any other place there are black people shall we? Ok. Pick Zim at random? Sure. Exotic enough name, why not?
I don't turn to any Quebecois or Canadians and say, wait, you must be from Sweden though right? Just because they have blond hair and or blue eyes and they evidently aren't First Nations people - the ones that were there first FYI. So then why would you question and then offer to correct where I'm from as if my nationality is less plausible and yours is a given. Oh, no baby. No way.
Now, I've had my BigGirlBoots moment about this and it's not the first time I've talked about (casual) racism I've witnessed in Quebec but there are also two other points I think it's equally important to make:
The first is, as much as I love to get my imaginary Angela Bassett on it's not enough to say that all these strangers are just purposely and directly:
On interview day one of the coordinators asked me, as delicately as he could, if it would bother me being the only one "like me" in the area I get placed in. I responded that I was no stranger to being "like me" in another country - oh, hi Spain! - and knew people would treat me differently. I told him I knew it wasn't all a case of out and out racism (KKK on my doorstep, cross burning in the yard) but ignorance (never/barely seen any other races let alone know what to say or not say when given the chance) and that it was my job not just to learn about the Quebecois culture but to teach them about mine. No one forced me to come here or promised me it would be all gravy from start to finish. Anyone doing Residence Abroad rest assured:
But that is not an excuse not to go and do it. You might be the only ethnic person to roll through your placement and draw some lines in the "racist/not racist" sand or be the first of another race people meet. This is especially important, I think, if you're working in education, with kids in particular. There are a handful of black kids in my school, and a couple that are Asian too, there's a chance that you could be the only ELA they see that "looks like them" or is at least different in some way they can relate to, if you're placed in a school like mine, and I think that's important for those kids to experience.
As much as I'm a proud black woman, this isn't limited to black RA students. Anyone who ends up being a minority on their placement could find themselves in a situation like any of the ones I've talked about. And I think RA organisations should do more to prepare students for it, and their placements - in terms of what you can and can't say because boy, the stories I've heard since ELAing in Quebec alone...ugh.
Whats more, I didn't say anything. In these cases, when you're trying to make friends and be sociable in a foreign country or culture, how do you combat these foolish comments people make with no awareness of how offensive they're being and how awkward that comment made things for you? I'm honestly interested like, in the comments box, pick one case, or all 3 and tell me what you would have done in my shoes?
I know to some they might seem like minor issues but if someone said "oh and then the blacks went and did this", in the middle of a big old group convo how do you even side rail the whole thing and what do you say? Other than clarify they just said "blacks" and it sounds wack to you, sounds fine to them and you're still the only black person in the room, now with an added awkward spotlight....?
For those of you that have reached the end of this post and are still thinking:
Asking why I'm bothering about such small issues and making such a big deal out of this. I have no time for this opinion as this is a genuine concern that functioning adults, not kids this time, can say these things to people they barely know, with no common sense reflex of oh better not say that, sounds rude. Maybe you don't get it because this has never happened to you #reverseracism #blindedbythelights who knows?
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| Me trying to rationalise what my new staffroom friend had just said and all that it implied. |
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| The other two teachers (including Friday English teacher) on the convo sidelines. Our survey says:  Invisible/Imaginary Audience reaction: |
This all took place in about 3 seconds with my signature baffled smile and the two other teachers making half choked "Hey" "Oh" sounds at the same time. Ofc joker that supply teacher is and knowing our new friend status she saved the moment with:
Rubbing my arm some more she says to the convo members *blah blah I'm just kidding, it was a joke we're just talking* and smiles then moves on.
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Now. For anyone who is still at this point, asking:
Let me explain to you how I got to this point:
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| my face for the rest of lunch |
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| I'm sorry do I need to carry a passport and birth certificate because you can't hear what I said? |
Second. She offers the logical solution/suggestion that I must be from an African country....as a joke ofc.
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| Please feel free to have all the seats in the stadium. |
I don't turn to any Quebecois or Canadians and say, wait, you must be from Sweden though right? Just because they have blond hair and or blue eyes and they evidently aren't First Nations people - the ones that were there first FYI. So then why would you question and then offer to correct where I'm from as if my nationality is less plausible and yours is a given. Oh, no baby. No way.
Now, I've had my BigGirlBoots moment about this and it's not the first time I've talked about (casual) racism I've witnessed in Quebec but there are also two other points I think it's equally important to make:
But that is not an excuse not to go and do it. You might be the only ethnic person to roll through your placement and draw some lines in the "racist/not racist" sand or be the first of another race people meet. This is especially important, I think, if you're working in education, with kids in particular. There are a handful of black kids in my school, and a couple that are Asian too, there's a chance that you could be the only ELA they see that "looks like them" or is at least different in some way they can relate to, if you're placed in a school like mine, and I think that's important for those kids to experience.
Which brings me to my second point. I know I'm having my SistaSolider moment about this but by no means can I take the Poetic Justice stance:
Whats more, I didn't say anything. In these cases, when you're trying to make friends and be sociable in a foreign country or culture, how do you combat these foolish comments people make with no awareness of how offensive they're being and how awkward that comment made things for you? I'm honestly interested like, in the comments box, pick one case, or all 3 and tell me what you would have done in my shoes?
I know to some they might seem like minor issues but if someone said "oh and then the blacks went and did this", in the middle of a big old group convo how do you even side rail the whole thing and what do you say? Other than clarify they just said "blacks" and it sounds wack to you, sounds fine to them and you're still the only black person in the room, now with an added awkward spotlight....?
Asking why I'm bothering about such small issues and making such a big deal out of this. I have no time for this opinion as this is a genuine concern that functioning adults, not kids this time, can say these things to people they barely know, with no common sense reflex of oh better not say that, sounds rude. Maybe you don't get it because this has never happened to you #reverseracism #blindedbythelights who knows?
All I can do for now I guess is just walk around with buckets of common sense, common courtesy and have my passport on my person while I shake these people off Maraiah style....
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