Surrounded by surrogate mums and red velvet cake...... #1stWorldProblems

Today and yesterday have been extremely fruitful. Being the FLA is finally starting to work! No more private pity parties. Yesterday - lift home from the English teacher. Today - ride home from school secretary. Every day so far this week and last (barring late start Tuesdays) ride to school with host mum.

#WINNING

For those of you who don't understand why this is such a big deal. Last week was the beginning of the -20's, this week, -30's. Still don't get it. Refer to my post on wearing crap gloves in -22......

I had an excellent moment in the school office after school with 3 members of staff fawning over me because it is now common knowledge I walk to school in the cold and snow (why they couldn't have discovered this in November is unfortunate lol). Not gonna lie, these women, (and all Quebecois people who get together) have reaaaaally strong accents, so I followed about 60% of what was said. And about 10% when they spoke all at once. But the general consensus involved discussing my winter gear, clarifying that yes I walk, yes it's cold and that is sad and unfortunate for me. Another addition was that at least all that walk is good for my health -obvs the P.E. teacher. But it ended up with me given a free pass to get lifts home after school to ease my pain and frosty strife loool.

Their excuse - they're all mothers, so they worry about me [insert awwws here]. My response - well seeing as I don't have my mum with me atm I could definitely use a few.




Also, I decided to just go all out and bake. I braved an AllRecipes.com red velvet cupcake recipe, and true to the one critical review I red, them suckers were dry. BUT. Seeing as I love to start following a recipe, then ignore it completely, I took them out of the oven early then smothered them in cream cheese frosting.

LORD HAVE HIS ABUNDANT AND GLORIOUS MERCY.

Me and dairy aren't even close like that. You will never see me rolling with a cheese toastie/cheese pizza/lone cheese and any carbs.... or fruit (let me not make myself even more ill) - and no offence to those of you who can just back cheese like straight shots of vodka.....good for you lot - you just wont.

Can we have a moment of silent applause for cream cheese frostingggggggggggg-ah!

Anyway, I sprinkled some Christmas colour themed glitter on them, took them to school and left them in the staffroom before lunch with an anonymous secret 'mange-nous' [eat us] sign. Them teachers hovered over those cakes like vultures, then swarmed like discreet little buzzards caving and taking one.

Tbh this is how they looked at the cakes
and how I looked at them for taking one when they couldn't see me lol.

They should be food tasters in my opinion. They gave nothing away, just calmly ate them, and when someone asked they were like - oh yea they're nice. As you can imagine, I maintained my anonymity and kept my calm, reading my little magazine......

My face as they discussed the tastiness of my 'mystery cupcakes'
#MakingFriends #ByAnyMeansNecessary

Came back to the staffroom at the end of the day. Cakes GARN [my attempt at putting my Caribbean accent into written form]. So, if nothing else was said, they were all consumed without complaint, and none were chucked in the bin. SUCCESS!!!

The only downside to this decision. Or any move to bake (I also made Christmas tree cookies that need to be decorated before they are offered as tribute on Thursday) by me - and hopefully others - is the burden of taste testing is a slippery slope. Note to self. Do not use spare red velvet cupcake batter to make a rather flat but still substantial red velvet loaf, then smother it in left over cream cheese...and expect it to go well for me.

So. This has been happening a lot.  -_-

Another exciting addition to my couch potato life (much like the cold war, my war against the winter chubb has taken a turn for the worse...but joy comes in the morning! So in the morning of the new year, the fight will be back on!) has been catching up - as in from season 1 to current - on Made in Chelsea.

I'll give some of you a minute.

Is it that good? YES! Why? Because I cannot believe people live as ridiculously extravagantly as this with no idea of real life or real jobs and how normal people live....that all these 1 and 2 name/syllable pretentious places exist in one area of London.....that different people can commit the same offences against each other but yet be approached with such different (read biased) perspectives.

It's like a massive square-dance, people just keep switching partners, and when everyone has danced with everyone, a few others are dropped into the mix/taken out. Mark-Francis and Victoria are obviously only commentators on this dance.

The only other thing that breaks it up is people exposing their random/sub par talents e.g. speaking foreign languages for no reason, trying to launch or plug their music careers while never appearing in the actual music charts or showcasing some kind of fashion collection to prove that they are employed.

Having gone to an all girls school, their constant warring is NO surprise. However. Louise needs one of those How I Met Your Mother style interventions.....

How Lucy should have handled her business with Louise...

Milly lived the dream I have every episode.

Slap so hard his hair gel lost its grip on life......

One of life's unanswerable questions - why does no one want to wifey Cheska? WHY?!

Final note. Winter Christmas in the chalet with the other ELAs starts this Friday. I'm afraid because with the amount of snow storms coming for Quebec this week and next, winter activities will be inevitable. Which will lead to me, attempting to ski, and ending up looking like this:

Good night.