Showing posts with label Quebec. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quebec. Show all posts

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

My Last Week As An Official ELA....



So the time came for my big goodbye, leaving my school bonanza...

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M'kay, so here's what I wrote at the beginning:

The countdown is officially on. 4 days of school left. To this day, some students and teachers don't know were I'm from, my name or what I do here lol.

Case in point, with my first class of the day, during the good morning routine (where they greet the main teacher and then me) one student at the front says confidently:


Good morning Miss Emma!
Miss WHO boy?!

There are still students who call me by last year (or even the year before)'s assistant's name. Like. What? And when I told them I was leaving, the same student (who I know very well) and who has seen me for 9 months asks where I'm even from..... I know they'll miss me though. This was proved by one student saying he'll put a bomb on the plain so I can't leave. A joke ofc.....

^ My face when I heard all of these things. ^

All in  all people are sad I'm leaving - most of my classes anyway. Grade 1 & 2 were the funniest to tell, the look of complete disbelief and sadness on their little faces made my day I can't even lie. One of the main reasons I like teaching has nothing to do with imparting knowledge, I like bonding with the kids. Basically, I love it when they love me. Selfish, but very true.



Which is why I'm fixing to bring in treats on my last day. I've got maoams for the kids and if money and time permits, cupcakes for the teachers so it should all be gravy come Friday. I intend to leave in a blaze of glory and a trail of student tears lol. Speaking of which one of my grade 2's was on the verge of tears when she found out I was leaving. Made my entire day. Plus I got lots of hugs from my extra tiny students and even a choke hold hug from one of my grade 5's.


When I said goodbye to my favourite grade 2 class today they looked so upset I actually had to take a minute. That class is one of the few where I feel closer to them than the bilingual group I take out and work with. I had to turn around and go be busy for a while - you know kids will stare you down with no shame, and I'm not about to cry when it's no where near Friday.



Some of them grade 6's stay rude as ever though. When my co-teacher made my leaving announcement in the class I had today it was like:

She's leaving, and?
 The girls in that group are the WORST! The teacher went in on them though and said the bilinguals I worked with most of the year should take this time to show their appreciation. Cut to all bar one rolling out of the class at the end, not a word. And you guessed it, the exception, and two extra from the same class, were boys. One of my strongest bilinguals thanked me for helping him, and then another two, who have some of the most difficulty in English class and school in general, came to tell me goodbye. So forget the rest of the class, I do it for them.

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And here's how it went down on Thursday and Friday:

My last official day teaching was awful. And my last day in school going through all my stuff was even worse. 
Basically......

Thursday is usually always a good day as I only have two classes to teach, grade 3 and either grade 2 or 7. This week was grade 7, the learning difficulties class and actually one of my all-time favourite groups. This was proved by what I will now be referring to as the beginning of Thank-You-Card-Gate 2014. There was no real lesson plan for the day (once you get to June and exams are over it's pretty much pointless activities to keep them busy and speaking English at the same time) so the chosen activity - once they found out it was my last day - was making me Thank You cards. 

LOOK AT THIS:

My Riches

He explained each letter to me but all I
remember is the Y is a school tie lol

My pop-up and flag from my sweetie ^

I know she got help to write the inside,
but she put so much time into this card, I love it! 

Emmanuelle is my girl! Her favourite colour is purple - just like me - and
she wears it all the time, if she could she would every day!
I don't think I'll ever forget that...

They came with bars...I'm sure the main teacher suggested those lines but I don't even care. They went on computers and found pictures of the Canadian and Quebecois flag to copy for me, one kid even made the most elaborate handmade card I've ever gotten. It had a pop-up and he even turned all the letters into different images to do with me and with school. #SoSweet (hey Gwynne!) I'm not gonna sit there and play Queen Elizabeth and just let my people come and bring me tribute without giving anything back so I made them a class card and wrote a cute message of their own. Their homeroom teacher read it out and translated it to them

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Grade 3 was bittersweet but not devastating. I have my faves in the class and a massive group (8 girls) of bilinguals I had been working with the whole year. They were all in exam period still so I spent my last class helping them with their speaking assessment and listening to two of my bilinguals give their class presentations on their pets. They were two of my weakest students so I was real proud of them, signing and miming at them from the back of the class the whole way through....


Their achievements are my achievements - because it means I actually taught them something
and didn't just twiddle my thumbs and play hangman with them for 9 months.....

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The rest of the day and Friday was spent doing the worst of the worst. Paperwork. Which for me means getting Residence Abroad stuff signed that I had forgotten to do months ago and also sorting through all the crap I'd accumulated over 9 months. 


I'm not gonna lie, working in a primary school is too much work. I was so out of my depth it was unreal. So much planning has to be done and every grade is so different, not to mention where the lines blur on ability levels. I had to put together so many worksheets and activities and even make stuff up then remember it for later. I was left up to my eyeballs with so much material, half of which I didn't even get to use. One thing I will say though, is that I do good work. I don't give my kids no boring, crusty, Times New Roman no-visual-aids work to do. Not ever. So I had to sort through it and catalogue everything for the teacher to use next year.....


But at about 1:30pm on the Friday I had a moment to sit and realise that this all just wasn't gonna happen for me. All them days of going home and collapsing from exhaustion/laziness after school and running away on weekend adventures instead of cataloguing my work then made  my day an absolute mission. I went from not even working on Friday's to leaving at 6pm on my last day. Putting things in folders, recycling, cutting, pasting, downloading, dragging and saving. It was insanity. And there are teachers that do this on a regular?! Like, is this really life? Is this what a career in education means?  Let's be real, is this what caring about your students' future education means, because to be honest if I wasn't so attached to them I could have chucked everything and left them to eat my dust, sink or swim without me really. But I did care, so I stayed late, finished my work and then wrote a ridiculously emotional goodbye letter, left my students some candy and left, rather than lighting a match and letting it burn when I walked away....Here's why:


Grade 3 & 4 all signed their names <3

But Grade 5 & 6, my most pain-in-the-behind classes went INNNN

"Thank you Miss Monique for helping me with my writing.
If  I pass English its gonna be because of you. Tommy",
I cried when I read this. I do not even care.

Flipping clown, this girl always had jokes. No I love you.
Have a good life. THANKS Josie lol

My most neeky, geeky, goodie-two-shoes, go the extra mile kid ever.
People will work for her one day I'm sure.

"Thank you for all your help and I had super Mondays"

One of my laziest bilingual students lol. Apparently I didn't"learn"
her enough spelling but she hates writing so I appreciate it.
I still love her, you'll probably see her on a runway soon....

Most of them spelt my (French) name this way, but I love this because
she was one of my most eye-rolling, neck-bending always chatting students ever!

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So that's it. They made me care. Even the worst of the worst classes made me care. At the beginning, and even most of the way through, I was convinced that primary school wasn't for me and that maybe I should even re-consider ever teaching at all.... But I freaking love it. I love working with kids. Especially the ones who have it hard. I actually love teaching English as a second language even if all the work drives me insane. So sign me up, get me my own office or classroom so I can drown under piles of paper, buy my students' love with candy (notice I can't even say sweets now lol) and have breakdowns in the school toilets when necessary!

I don't drink so Ima have to find something else to get me through them hard
days at work....

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I'll write soon about my last week in Canada with my bae's but right now I'm busy chilling at home before I run away to Spain in a bit.


It's a hard life, but somebody has to live it.

Saturday, 17 May 2014

Canadian Daytime TV and Supervising a school disco in Quebec {Part II}

If any of my fellow Quebec ELAs know about life and time well spent they will know about these two programs here:

In The Kitchen With Chef Pasquale

  • This guy is an actual legend. He is not here for all of these basic chefs when wearing his bright red pimped out king fisher toque. Pasquale is too busy making love to the camera with jokes for his imaginary audience and casually sliding into operatic power ballads while sautéing.

  • Introducing, my bae, Stefano Faita a.k.a my t.v. husband/imaginary ideal uomo italiano: 


In The Kitchen With Stefano





















His hairline is tragic but the culinary masterpieces he produces with his bare hands (not everyday Nigella sticking her fingers in cake batter) are just....He could put a ring on it any day.


There is no school on Monday, so these two Italian gentlemen will be filling my day while I handle business at home.

.....................................................................................................................................

 M'kay, so since I hate leaving things half finished, let me fill you in on the rest of my experiences supervising a disco at my school a little while back. Starting with the rules for

Girls

  • You will only roll with one of two crews:

BLW (Big Little Women) - who's compulsory attire includes a long hemline, preferably something the swirls when you twirl, ballet shows kitten heels and a tiny pointless handbag you fill with errythang in your room for no reason; that is so full you can't find your snack money, and has enough stuff in it that you can look busy rummaging in it when you have nothing to do or no-one to talk to or dance with. No shade, but shade. And I can say that because I was one of those girls for a hot second until like year 9 LOL.

OR

GG (Girl's Generation) - these chicks co-ordinate their outfits as hard as a Korean girl band. The look is always skinny jeans, and if the motive is pastel colours, everybody is sure to get the memo. The aim is for your jeans to be so tight, and fitted they can hold your entire life, no purse needed. So what if it takes you 5 minutes to wrestle your giant smart phone out of your stupidly tiny pocket. The fine print is:

If you didn't fight, and cry and struggle to get your jeans on....

And you won't require assistance to get you out of them later,
"You can't sit with us!"
  • Rolling to the party in your box-fresh patent gold hi-tops means you are officially Queen Bee...
  • If said "sneakers" also have multicoloured flashing lights you have rendered every other girl irrelevant, slaying the entire room.
  • If puberty has given you something to work with, break out that boob tube your mum may, or may not, have let you buy, and wear it with your favourite skin tone bra because you still believe the lie that that makes it invisible.
Sorry baby, this bra, does not carry the chameleon effect.
  • A dance floor is the perfect excuse for you to show off your cartwheels and backhand springs that you just learnt at cheer practice. Gone are the days of White Chicks style dance-offs it seems....
  • Today is the day you're allowed to wear makeup, even though you know jack about how to use it. You've been dying to use the little you have, especially that bright eye shadow that matches your "pants", the end result is something like this:
Snake, hairstyling, blending technique,
brush control and mascara ALL sold separately.
#SideNote
When you see said student, you try your hardest to keep a straight face and allow her to keep her confidence because she's pretty sure she looks good. And girls will LIE to their friends and let them look any kind of way when they leave. But that's all part of it, so let me un-crease and not upset the balance.



  • Dancing does however, have a time and place so make sure your skills are on point. For instance, when you win an mp3 player and you run up on stage. Then the DJs asks if you can shuffle, you better be ready when that track drops to have your shining moment:



And then, there was what happened to me:


  • Do NOT I repeat DO NOT, agree to man the snack table, that thing is a trap if you don't know what you're doing. It will lead to nothing. But. Trouble.
Exhibit A - when a whole bunch of students come your way and one tries to make eye contact with you so you can serve them. You don't know what half of these sweets are called in French, let alone how much they are on the price list, and everyone is shouting out their orders. Do a Prince George:


You look away, look down and get to looking hella-busy rearranging crisp packets.


Exhibit B - when loud music and shouting makes you re-realise the poor quality of the French you've managed to acquire. You are NOT equipped to manage a snack table in Quebec in any way, shape or form without orders being repeated and sign language being incorporated.

Your face when you try and desperately clutch at the fading memory of
whatever it was they said they wanted to buy....

Exhibit C - you chose languages, writing, humanities and left maths in the dust a long time ago. That part of your brain died a long time ago. So when students ask for a whole bunch of $0-2 items and hand you a penny, you struggle for a whole 5 mins to work out that change without getting out the phone calculator. Or worse, you forget the price of something so you assign your own, then discover  (when you bother to ask the teacher on the snack table with you to go over the prices one last time), you overcharged 20 students by 75 cents. Adopt your mother's philosophy and never admit you're wrong and just pray they don't bring it up.

^You show no outward reaction but inside you be like ^


I swear, the more I learn....the less I know.

Monday, 28 April 2014

Lessons learned while supervising a school disco in Quebec {Part I}

Disclaimer: To protect the anonymity of my students and school/keep me out of prison/because I'm not that girl slyly photographing students all day long, I ill stick to gifs, memes and other photos to demonstrate my points.

I'd forgotten how much middle and secondary school age teaches you about life. Mean Girls, for all those that don't know, is the actual truth of life. Adolescence in education is the law of the jungle, survival of the fittest, natural selection, all that. And seeing these kids made me remember when those same rules applied to me. Needless to say I was not at the top of my school food chain, not even close.


Boys

Now for you to fully understand the 'sugar and spice and everything nice' process that goes into making young Quebecois boys into young Quebecois men, something needs to be clarified. For all you lot who keep asking me- 

So, who have you met in Canada?

or

So, what's Canada saying?

or

So, what's new in Canada?

You all are under the illusion that where I live, the male population walking around Quebec (all areas excluding Montreal, which is the New York of Canada #imo) look like this:

Constant smize action? Check. Ethnically ambiguous? Check.
Effortless North American badboy chic? Check.
When really, the vast majority of Quebecois boys (that I've seen) grow up to look like this:


Sorry guys, the image you have in your head belongs on a runway, not reality. 
Anyway, I said all that to say that the whole 'look' can be boiled down to some basic elements. And the training to put this look together, and basically succeed at life and own adolescence, starts from around grade 5. No better place to see it get executed to perfection than at a school disco. So, let's have a look at what I learnt from les gars:-

  • You ain't worth jack if you don't have some form of hat action going on. Options include:

The trucker casquette for the traditional boys.
Alternative choices for those unique boys.
The backwards snapback for the conformists.

#SideNote Beibs' general appearance from the start of his career to now, from the neck up, is a pretty accurate representation of the hair/hat situation most boys here try and go for. Who knew?

  • A 'long hair don't care' mentality is integral to the majority of your crew:


is clearly the sponsor of all teenage boys in my town.
#SideNote they all claim to despise One Direction but they fully understand and embrace the power of long, un-brushed hair.....

  • A school dance is the perfect occasion for you to break out your hair gel and biker jacket that you still haven't grown into yet and the dance is inside.
  • It is in no way necessary for you to do any dancing, all you and your crew will do is walk around, steal each others hats for piggy in the middle, play fight or hang around in corners.
  • You need to make sure your flannel action is on lock. Otherwise once again, you ain't jack:
If it's not plaid, you better just keep your hoody on, bruh.



  • The only interactions with girls you can participate in directly is pushing them, taking selfies or photobombing them.
  • When the DJ drops LMFAO Party Rock, it's on. All bets are off. And if you can't shuffle, that's right you guessed it - you ain't jack.

don't be afraid to take the floor and shuffle solo....
or break out with your whole squad, all the kids who
know about life will be doing it with you.


Thursday, 24 April 2014

Updates: Life As I Know It Of Late

So, I'm behind on updating you all, as usual. And for this I apologise....but will probably end up backlogged again soon when I'm too lazy to write or busy having fun so don't take it personal. I'm very grateful for my solid 28-30 post views, compared to the 4 I used to have lol - and YES I love checking those hit counts, making me feel special for all of half an hour after I post.


Maple Syrup Trip

Right, so pre-Easter my most exciting escapade was going maple syrup collecting with some of the LBG. This basically consisted of me risking my very non-expendable only child life climbing all over snowy hillsides that may as well have been mountain sides (everybody knows we only children like to exaggerate and amp up our descriptions to highlight how special we are, so allow me).

It was actually really interesting though. I'm not gonna lie, I sincerely thought they would stick some kind of tap/funnel/tube thing into the tree and maple syrup sap would just sludge it's way out. For all those who were sadly misinformed like me, check ben ça: 



Special thanks to my lovely assistant, and 5 points to anyone who can spot the moment where he airs (ignores) my question lol. So yea, maple syrup starts off as maple water, then it has to be boiled down into the good stuff. 

That was probably one of my most enjoyed experiences de la vie québécoise. I would have taken more photos of the farm etc but I was too busy trying to hold onto the tractor/not fall into mud or snow.

The only downside in being Quebecois for the day was trying and failing to do things they could do easily, and failing miserably. Instead of going down the hill the long way on the tractor, we decided to scale the hillside like the other young people. Well, Joe went down pretty smoothly, while me, Aimee and Leanne's descent was basically like this:

We basically bumper-carred each other all the way down.

Weather Changes

Nick Carter was always my favourite Backstreet Boy <3
So, this past week or so it's been raining all over the place and I'm so happy about it I may as well be a 90's boy band about to do the wet shirt scene lol.

You see, as much as rain on-top of heavy snow leads to the black ice I always love to complain about, this time it's different. The rain has been employed as natures clean up crew to finally shift all of this bleak snow and slush out of the way so Spring can finally move in and the layers and boots can start coming off. Let me say it loud and clear people: 

Spring is finally IN!!!!


Hair #TheStruggle

So, anyone who sees me in person or on social media and cares knows I've been rocking braids since Cuba and actually loving it. But anyone who has braids/knows about black hair will know that they can only last so long and only have a few months life span. I've decided I'm at the end of mine. How did I come to this decision? I heard the one thing you never want to hear from a restaurant manager, ever: 

Excuse me sweetie, did you loose your braid? [said while she holds it horizontally between her fingertips and its blatantly yours]

When life reaches that stage, you know it's time to call it a day. So who can guess how this weekend is gonna be spent? For once I'm glad I have nothing else to do but take down my braids, sad I know. I can almost see the faces of all my students now when I walk into school back to original hair, which I'm guessing they've all rationalised no longer exists over the past month. Monday is gonna be fun.


Easter Escapades

Allow me to use N*SYNC to describe to you how my 5 day Easter break arc was looking about a week and a half ago:

Leanne and Dan are Chris in the blue PJs hanging out in the back waiting for their family to visit/ weekend engagements. 

Joe and Aimee are JC in the purple PJs already living it up gallivanting cross contry/countries to visit family members.

Meanwhile I'm regrettably bleach blond, curly fro Justin, crying left outside alone because I have nothing to do/nowhere to go. So I did something about it.


I decided to ignore my non-existent bank balance in favour of the ridiculous #YOLO mentality and book myself a Greyhound facilitated trek to good old NYC rather than stay in Buckingham doing nothing. In true Monique fashion I left it all to the last minute before I booked my ticket and asked my family in Jersey and my old friend Mike (who I met in Cuba - calling in the favours lol) to take me in over the weekend. Luckily for me everything panned out well and I managed to see quite a few off my relatives and have a day to myself to strut around Times Square like a celebrity. On the latter day two amazing things happened:

I navigated the subway like a BAWSE

I saw Mario Lopez in H&M and completely lost my senses for a good few minutes.
Even though getting there and back was absolute murder thanks to being stuck at border patrol and carrying the heaviest bag in the entire WORLD (with only myself and my lack of packing skills to blame) I don't regret it. I got to see even more parts of the city I'd never seen before. That being said I need to lock off all these trips to the US and stick to francophone destinations for the rest of my time here I think. Given the chance I would still go again though.

#SorryNotSorry