For The Homie Gillian

This blog goes out to Gill, my JSA adviser this year (shout out to the Eccles Job Centre!). On my first visit we sat down and spoke about our hobbies and dreams and how regardless of the mundane job we might end up in, we would still follow our passions. Both of us love to travel and write, and after catching up with her (and barely paying attention to the paperwork we were filling in), I promised her I would start blogging again. I even gave her my blogsite. 

So Gill this one is for you!

No More Excuses Not to Blog

I've finally got home internet access, got my laptop fixed and have scheduled days off each week. So I can't put off blogging any longer really. I'm sure you've all been on the edge of your seats waiting for the latest updates on the riveting saga that is my life. Since I finished Uni almost a year ago now (yikes!) I'm sure you all want to hear about my corporate office exploits in my new job as I relentlessly achieve all of my career goals and climb the ladder to success.

Come again?

Or. For those of you that were paying attention. You're still asking yourself....did he just say, Job Centre? How could that possibly be true? I mean, everyone knows you graduate in a flurry of final exams and intern-ship applications in the desperate hope of being pulled into some sort of corporate scheme, recruitment position or other basic high paid office job. Or in true languages student fashion jump on a plane to go and teach English somewhere or join a foreign company on the other side of the world...

On behalf of all graduates, may I say:

So that begs the question...

What Have I Been Doing All This Time?

If anyone was to tell me back when I was in second year of uni that after I graduated I'd spend the next 6 months of my life living in Manchester as an unemployed graduate I'd have looked at them like:

With any one of the following defences:

1. Wait, what?
2. Excuse me?
3. Do you not KNOW me?
4. Do you know what grades I'm likely to graduate with?
5. I plan to go to [insert country] and [insert another country] and do [insert 2-3 career options] so that can't be right!

But sadly, as many of us can tell you (and how many graduates had to tell me), that just ain't how post-uni life works out. I fell into the typical trap, knowing myself a little better - but not fully. And knowing exactly what I don't want to do with the rest of my life. Absolutely nothing fell nicely into place. But luckily for me, I have an excellent support network at home in London (my fambam) and in Manchester (my VO church fam). So I still ended up with a roof over my head (thanks to a wonderful family and some dear friends), a room of my own and a full fridge (most of the time, big up mummy & daddy!). As you can imagine. 6 months of unemployment was spent in the most productive way possible. Keeping active, painstakingly crafting cover letters, CVs and application forms...you know the usual.

I won't say how often this ended up being me....or for how long....if you know, you know.

I went down the obvious routes of soul searching and self evaluation, coming up with squat most of the time, in the initial stages at least. But thank God for prayer, that kept me sane and helped me find my way. First - accepting that I was going to stay in Manchester, and second that I would throw myself into all my voluntary and extracurriculars, working or not. Spoiler Alert I do end up employed and standing on my own two feet at the end of the story fear not. Which brings me to:

What I'm Doing This Year

Volunteer work wise I'm a part-time ESOL and 1 to 1 teacher offering English language support at a community school. Basically I'm using the teaching skills I got via my languages degree to teach English to non-natives and my phonetics etc understanding to offer dyslexia/literacy support. Plot Twist this time its not babies, children, teens or students, its adults- specifically parents, more so mothers. And their babies. So its interesting and rewarding as you would expect. So long as I'm teaching and helping people and there's cultural exchange I'm calm really.

I've also gotten more involved as a Youth Leader via Church. It was never something I realised I wanted or actively pursued, considering I started a year or so ago, until now. The closer I got to finishing my degree the more I made myself available to work with young girls (now from ages 11 up to 16) and just build relationships with them. Tbh after my year abroad placements I wasn't even trying to hear about working with young people again. All them hormones, cliques, identity crises and tantrums. No gracias. Makes me remember why I never what to be a teenager again (hormones lowkey send you crazy, scramble your moral compass and chemically imbalance you, sabotaging all emotions and rational thought). But here I am again. And I slyly love it, and I love my girls, and the team I work with.

Ya girl also got herself a job. As a waitress. In a Spanish restaurant. In the bougie part of Manchester central. Obviously this is not the life goal, by no means the end game. But after 6 months of no Spanish I'm practising everyday and have wound up in a 60% Spanish speaking environment so I practise everyday. Linguistically, I'm in my happy place. The staff I work with speak English, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish and French, and I'm down to learn as much as I can. Another bonus, with the hours I'm doing I can still do my ESOL/Literacy Support work and my youth work, and just about have a life. For anyone still not satisfied with that I'm also on another voluntary scheme that should open up some doors for me...but I'm keeping it on the DL until I complete it.

So lets all just celebrate the comeback from the gif reality of my life a couple months ago shall we?

So, Where Is Miss Independent Living Now?

At the end of March this year, after finally starting to get myself together, I was able to move out and become queen of my own castle! Kind of. Well, there are a few more queens in this castle as I moved in with friends. I haven't lived in an all girl house in a while but hey, I know and love them all, and so long as you live in a like-minded house its all gravy. Added bonus: it's an all Caribbean house so you know its LIT! I haven't been able to have Saturday [read Sat-deh] soup, fried dumplin, ackee, jerk, rice and peas cooked all under one roof since moving out of my parents' house. Our seasoning cupboard alone is goals. That was relegated to one box in the back of my cupboards in most of the other places I've lived. What's more we all share mutual friends, go to the same church,have similar extracurricular commitments and are down to go and hang out together. Translation = it ain't hard to get the squad into formation when we find a motive.

But don't get it twisted. We, well mostly me, are still adjusting to life without a safety net [read student finance/mum&dad]. All this adulting business is awful really. My first paycheck I could have cried. I was so happy I couldn't believe I'd earned that much on my own, only to see it disappear within a week and then have 3 weeks left to rub my precious pennies together. Like I said, I could have cried. Don't forget though, I said I have a great support network so we're taken care of in some aspects. The rest, well we're just working it out, while our bank accounts adjust to the strain of real live living (when you want to travel, drop dollar in Zara/Mango/DorothyP, learn to drive, shop at Waitrose and not Aldi - all while opting out of paying council tax or water bills).

All in all I'm glad I'm supporting myself and doing life with other people. My room is small, all bed and wardrobe and all mine. I officially work for and own a part of something. And I don't take such a huge blessing lightly. I could have gone home and taken the easy way out. But I'm out here building (albeit with an unknown plan) a life. A life I love. So I'm doing better than I. and maybe some others, expected.

What Am I Committing To?

Writing. 

A while back I posted this:

Biggest goal this year - write, and never stop.

A photo posted by MónicaMarshánna (@marshanna2212) on Jan 15, 2016 at 2:32pm PST

17 likes, which with my followers numbers means that like, my entire social world has seen this, ha. So I'm now in a binding agreement with social media to fulfil this commitment. Hence this post. Moral of the story - don't sweat not knowing what you want to do with your life, having to start over, and never let your passions die. And never fear, yours truly is still destined for greatness and all that. I'm sure I'm not the first late bloomer with a Masters (cringe), so I'll end up where I need to be. All in all I just want to be my happy. I just want to sing, travel, speak languages, eat food and write.