I Watched Way Too Much Kid's TV in Spain

So now I'm back from Spain, and realised I never told you guys anything about it. Basically I divided my time between cooking myself from lightly toasted to medium brown and babysitting while teaching English to two 4 year-olds - who outsmarted me almost every day and reminded me just how difficult it is to be that age. Learning to read and write is actually ridiculously hard and I think I'd blocked out how long it took me to be decent at either. One of my daily highlights though was spending a lot of my time watching children's programs - a vocational hazard for me - and it got me thinking, what are these kids being taught. Or rather, now that I'm a grown-up, what does it look like to me. So, to keep my brain from exploding, I played a little game (in my head) that me and my babes Danielle like to play with Disney films- Let's Be Real....and discuss how this kid's film/show is/is in no way like real life.

Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom

• The Queen vs Nanny Plum

A.K.A. what happens when upper/middle class people don't beat discipline their children but are ready to go sick on the help......

And then there are those golden moments when Disney Classics get extra truthful but you don't catch it until 10-15 years have passed.

Beauty and the Beast

• Cogsworth Letting Girls Know About Men & Fake Romance....(and Lumiere letting boys know how NOT to cop out with fake romance)

(Fade to ext of castle. BELLE is playing in the snow with PHILLIPE and
FOOTSTOOL.  BEAST, COGSWORTH and LUMIERE watch from the balcony.)
BEAST:        I've never felt this way about anyone.  (Looks excited) I want
              to do something for her. (Looks discouraged.) But what?
COGSWORTH:    Well, there's the usual things--flowers, chocolates, promises
              you don't intend to keep...
LUMIERE:      Ahh, no no.  It has to be something very special.  Something that
              sparks her inter--wait a minute

I clocked this yesterday, at 23 years of age.

You know when you watch a film from your childhood, years later, and a character gives the realest and has you like:

And when you realise fairytales really do relate to real life, minus the fantasy and adventure.

Sleeping Beauty

Phillip:

I said I met the girl I was going to marry. I don't know who she was, a peasant girl I suppose.

Hubert:

A peasant g-g-girl? You're going to marry a ... Why Phillip, you're joking! [to Samson] isn't he? [Samson shakes his head] You can't do this to me! Give up the throne, the kingdom, for some, some nobody? By Harry, I won't have it. You're a prince, and you're going to marry a princess!

Phillip:

Now father, you're living in the past. This is the fourteenth century. Nowadays ...

oh yeah....

Sesame Street

• Burt and Ernie's friendship

Ernie is the actual worst. And I know there are some a lot of you who are steaming in your head because you have a friend like him. You know their name, you know their face. At some point in your life you knew, or maybe still know someone who tried - and probably succeeded in taking you for Burt. That should be a thing. When people take the mick you should as yourself

But is my name Burt though?

Burt is the realest. To stay friends with this guy who continues to make a mockery of your life. My guy even takes the umbrella home after the issue has been clarified. I have always loved Burt since I was a child. Anyone who knows me well enough to see my serious disposition (read, constant screw face) should understand why.

Forever #TeamBurt .