Chronically Awkward: Writing

Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts

Saturday, 28 April 2018

The 5 Stages of Unemployment

Me, pretty much all of 2016:

For anyone still wondering what happened to my writing mojo and where I've been; or for those who randomly just stumbled across my forgotten blog, the above is my 2016 life personified in a single GIF. But it took me a while to get to that point. And the lessons learnt at the end of my 2016 into 2017 experience is what I like to call, The 5 Stages of Unemployment.

Disclaimer: Just like it took plenty of research, experience and evaluation to come up with the 5 stages of grief. I give you the 5 stages of employment - based on the research, experience and evaluation of me, myself and I - don’t @ me.

Stage 1 - The Emancipation

Fairly self explanatory, but basically you are happy about any of the below coming (back) into your life:

Time - to travel, see family, pursue hobbies

Freedom - from structure, education, exams, horrible colleagues/bosses

Identity - no need to be stuck in a role/doing work that’s just not who you are

Independence - you don’t answer to anybody, you are grown and can do what you want

And you take it upon yourself to celebrate your new found freedom accordingly. No curfew/end date given. You life this out with time limit TBC.

Stage 2 - Embracing the NapLife aka the Vicious Sleep Cycle

With the return of free time and independence (and possibly hindered by lack of identity) you will very easily fall into the habit of sleeping when you want, for however long you want. Staying up until 5am because - you ain’t got work in the morning. So you can sleepover, stay out late, wake up at 10 and stay home for the gas/electric/repair/deliver man (this may or may not have been my role as the ambitionless housemate) while everyone else is out living real life.

That’s normal. Especially if you’re not disciplined enough to keep your early wake -ups and scheduled bedtimes going. But the moment you start taking 1 2 3 4 5 hour naps in the middle of the day because you really ain’t got nothing else to do. Girl/Boy, beware. Welcome to dangerous territory. When you start and finish your day in the same dressing gown and PJs, more than once in a week...you’re far gone.

Check your calendar, if this is you and it’s summer, this isn’t even due to seasonal depression, you just officially have nothing better to do. Break the cycle and get out of the house immediately.

Stage 3 - Slinging Your Skills On the Corner

Eventually all proud shiny brand new graduates learn the same lesson - your grades don’t matter, experience matters. No experience, no job. Unless of course you enjoy recruitment, sales, marketing, customer service - which pretty much nobody ever really studies for but all hiring companies fish in the graduate pond.

Out of sheer boredom/desperation during the job-hunt process (also known as the fight for sanity/will to live), you could very well end up selling/giving away your skills to any and everyone that might have need of it. No matter how big, small, tedious or worthwhile the job. You end up feeling like your degree is some fake Rolex you’re trying to pawn off on the street. Nobody’s buying.

When everyone starts to ask questions on the spectrum of How’s the job hunt going - What are you doing with yourself life now? You will inevitably start giving excuses denying the fact that you’re busy doing nothing and your professional life is on pause rather than stuck. Because anything, even a lie, sounds better than the truth. Why? Because when you ask yourself if everyone else from your generation is more successful than you and making it happen? The answer/reality you're stuck with is yes. Yes they are. And ain't nobody got time to accept that.

Stage 4 - Crisis of Self Worth aka Rock Bottom

Don’t let the name scare you, this is as bad as it gets. So take comfort in that. The only way is up from here. If you have one of those unique, highly prized degrees that in actuality nobody wants/only fits in max 3 pigeon holes that you don’t want, you begin to question everything. You also begin to question, and severely dislike yourself and your life - which is at this point personified by stage 2 and/or 3. It’s very likely that you will try to hide this. Meaning that you will lie. To everyone.

But these times when you're at home by yourself:

Stage 5 - Epiphany of Self Worth aka Turning Point

When you’re at breaking point, something will happen. There will literally be a “the sun will come out, tomorrow” moment. Whether that’s from close friends or family encouraging you, someone finally offering you a helping hand, a job interview finally going your way, God letting you know #ItsNotOver and you feel encouraged to keep going. Somehow, someway, at some point, you decide to pick yourself up and it triggers the ultimate comeback. That doesn't always have to be a new job. It's really just being able to see yourself in a positive light again and throwing out all the rejection (emails) you’ve been holding on to.

So just remember, even though you may not have it all together, you may still be waiting on that job, don't let that define or hinder the way you see yourself.

You still a boss.

Writing Read more

Thursday, 10 November 2016

Anonymous 11:18 0

.....and Let All the Nations Sip Tea

Welp.

Nothing like a sick day and the most major political plot twist since Obama himself was actually elected president and we all saw it with our own eyes. [insert pause for irony]. To make me get back at it.

I know after my last couple of posts, my intention, and probably what some may have imagined, was to be living like this:

Creative Juice just leaking all out the pores and what not.

But, for most people [me] who can't just Ernest Hemmingway-it and run off to Cuba [me, why not me, Lord!] to seek inspiration against a beautiful paisaje and Great Gatsby through life as they write, it's a little less of a motivating experience. Regular, mediocre, British dry, grey, wet, oxymoronic life happens, and goes on as usual. So, inevitably, I got a new phone. Same number, same messages, same social media and same Whatsapps. So my life was consumed by the "smaller screen" once again.

And it's just been hard to get the dust off! I mean, writing is time consuming (who knew!), I need a whole day just to myself to reorganise my life, then another to sit down and write - but who even has those these days? Only everybody who cares enough about their passions I guess. Oh! and those who find a way to make a living from it - which includes me as that is the freelance dream for the not too distant future....

But I gotta say, this election is one heck of a coffee to wake up & smell. And this sick day is a blessing so I can actually put my [insert other valuable currency as its not payday yet] where my mouth is and write something.

So keyboard, thou hast been warned, prepare to catch. these. fiery. hands.

If you don't know, you betta ask my touch screen about these thumbs!

Politics

Sadly/Generally, this highly crucial topic tends to just go right over my head. The whole Theresa May explosion never hit me, the dust just settled near me. I just don't have a head for it [yes, I know I should] so I try my best to study up when I get to use my vote. Politics for dummies and layman's terms all the way but I study. Case & point EU referendum - side note of shade, thank you Britain and all you morning after voters hoping your one night stand rebellion at the poles was a good idea. Chew on that regret babes, chew on it for however many years this nonsense might last.

As you can see, if there's any hint of the World Stage surrounding a political event, like leaving the EU, the first black President, non-white Mayor of London etc. I do my best to be involved. Also, I'm open to be educated. So here goes (as I prepare to join millions of bloggers posting about this election). My understanding of what happened....

After all the #ImWithHer effort, endorsement and social media flooding, the "sure win" candidate lost.

Hilary watching Donald win the real People's Choice Award.

All those figuring "if we can have and ethnic minority/bi-racial/multi-cultural president, then it's finally time for us to have a woman too" are devastated.

Women, minorities & younger generations watching Trump's acceptance speech like.

For those of you that speak Disney, it's basically facing what life would have been like if Ariel never stopped the wedding. For many, America is now married to Evil. No option for annulment.

The spell of choice in that juju shell necklace? media, middle/upper class supporters, who knows?

People around the world: WE HATE YOU DONALD!

Donald Trump:

"I still won though, so...."

So now, everybody on the ground is just watching, waiting, planning and plotting. The reality of Trump's America boutta take shape and everyone's got to figure out what life within that is gonna be like.

Rest assured America, whatever contracts/BFF secret vows you have with us over here in Britain, we will be watching. These gatherings of world leaders are about to get real interesting.

On a serious note though, as daunting as this reality may seem, it has had a highly significant (not sure if positive is the right word) impact on everybody. People are talking, and mobilising - but they're doing it smart! All across the media - not social, all the celebrities are just posting crying pictures after seeing their sphere of influence fall flat, unable to fill the gap and make people like Hilary (I didn't realise it was that deep!). I digress, all across the media, news anchors, talk shows, radio shows etc are using their platforms to discuss navigating this way of life. Through community, solidarity, organisation, preparation & education. I'm here for it, and I hope it works out, I really do. It's always better to rise up out of despair than settle for and anticipate defeat.

Also. The debates have been going OFF all over my news feeds! And I love it! One thing's for sure if you press something enough, juice will come out, and people are showing their true selves all over the place. I know a whole bunch of you socio-politially minded individuals where just waiting, for people who have been on your questionable posts/tweets/status/snaps watch lists to come out and say what they really think.

And now you might find yourself looking at people, and your un-follow button, a little differently.

Clearly, people got what they wished for. For me, this is almost better than TV, that drama is fake, this is real people & real life, not a reality show we are off script now boo! All you humanities and sciences students ho had no idea what your next essay, presentation, dissertation was gonna be on, you're welcome. The effects of social media, the Ellen show, celebrity endorsements, feminism, misogyny, racism, sexism, the justice system, ethnic diaspora, community, access to voting, legislation, population, class, you name it. It all played out in front of you, your research is every news item & talk show over the past 6 months, you can even try to forecast the next 4 years. Congrats on that 2:1 babes.

All in all, [perceived] villains are a part of life. And they sometimes rise to power. I highly doubt America will need to go through a revival of the French revolution x3 to get through this. We gotta have more faith than that. Actions speak louder than words so let the final say of the vote be what it will be.

I believe God can do anything at the end of the day which is more than throwing a complimentary Phaedra Parks "fix it Jesus" on the situation. I have faith in the American people I see in all these inspiring videos of schools, campuses, places of work, communities etc to really get things moving and make sure they're part of the process shaping the nation over these next four years, rather than cry that they couldn't stop it. And when elections come around again, they'll be ready. 2020 bout to be L-I-T.

Minor Life Update:

All London logic and reason upon deciding to live & work in Manchester:

Me:

*getting it together & building a life by fire by force since August 2015*

So that's it! I made it through another blog post! Thank you for reading through the opinions of someone with a laughable grasp of politics, but hey, at least I tried to pay attention & get involved in the discussion. Thank you & goodnight!