5 seconds of real world vs 5 mins of my (ongoing) phone-less experience

But I'm not trying to hear it
unless it gets overturned ASAP.

I try not to involve myself in politics seeing as most of it goes over my head. It's not a strength of mine and I lack understanding in almost all areas. I could not tell you the last time I'd watched the news. Terrible I know but idc I love who I am lol. I did know enough - read care enough - to vote in the EU referendum. Fat lot of good that did. Hence why I didn't care enough to blog about it, now everyone is waking up to smell the coffee/regret/restricted travel/rampant racism etc. 

Meanwhile. My phone got stolen this month. I've been in even less contact with people than usual. Everybody keeps asking when I'm gonna get a new phone/temporary phone/how am I surviving (my phone was literally the counterpart to the palm of my hand). 

And I’ve just been here like….

However. Don’t speak to anyone who was with me on that day, because I was highly unpleasant. I was mad vex, snappy and rude and all types of fasty. Like, I did not even try to act right. Anyone who asked me if I'd found it yet, digging around the cinema (shout out to AMC Deansgate and all the thievery going on in the dark), and clearly didn't register my facial expressions, got cut. I'm an only child, and it takes a lot to really bring out the inconsolable brat. But that about did it right there.

The only major inconvenience so far - for me obviously, not all the people struggling to contact me (I'm terrible as it is with a phone, so know it's not personal, so please family let's not be all up in our feelings I still love everyone) - has been having to depend on and communicate via others. Oh,and having to spend £3.50 on an alarm clock. I've had to return to the dark ages of facebook messenger on a laptop, email- and actually having to manually check and delete them. It's been just over 3 weeks now, and I'm not dead guys.

Things I don’t miss, in no particular order:

• Waking up to hundreds, yes over a hundred messages on whatsapp. 

• When I never even participated in the conversation(s).

• Midnight phone vibrations asking me to do things....

• Yet not waking up for a single one of my million alarms, because I'm selectively responsible like that.

• Thumb scrolling through Instagram and FB at every minute of every day just so I can pree.

• Feeling the pressure to take some kind of passable selfie for snapchat or insta to document the fact that on some days I am put together and can actually look cute (to combat my at times, otherwise highly debatable self presentation....) with apparently minimal effort.

• Always having to run for my charger.

• Constantly running out of data and being wifi dependent. No more music streaming on the way to work.

• Forcing myself to listen to endless voicemails that are probably very important but I’ve already missed the call so I’m over it…

• Whatsapp exposing messages I’ve seen but not been able to/forgot to/don't want to/haven't bothered to reply to.

• Seeing that I never have memory but everything on my phone is important so I can't delete it. Shoutout to apple who would rather make me pay for that option than make a phone that can handle apps & photos.

• Being part of tea spilling parties. It's fun to be in the know and all but wonderfully freeing not to have a clue what is going on with who. The only thing in my cup these days is Lady Grey, and she is not shady.

• Holding an iPhone six and feeling bad about myself when I pick back up my chunky,  busted old iphone 5 which may as well be a brick phone – thanks Apple design team.

So, until further notice I am out  of the office and cannot be reached via call or text. Please contact me via FB, email, social events, mutual friends and prayer.

 I’m still out here, phoneless and loving it.