Lessons learned while supervising a school disco in Quebec {Part I}

Disclaimer: To protect the anonymity of my students and school/keep me out of prison/because I'm not that girl slyly photographing students all day long, I ill stick to gifs, memes and other photos to demonstrate my points.

I'd forgotten how much middle and secondary school age teaches you about life. Mean Girls, for all those that don't know, is the actual truth of life. Adolescence in education is the law of the jungle, survival of the fittest, natural selection, all that. And seeing these kids made me remember when those same rules applied to me. Needless to say I was not at the top of my school food chain, not even close.

Boys

Now for you to fully understand the 'sugar and spice and everything nice' process that goes into making young Quebecois boys into young Quebecois men, something needs to be clarified. For all you lot who keep asking me- 

So, who have you met in Canada?

or

So, what's Canada saying?

or

So, what's new in Canada?

You all are under the illusion that where I live, the male population walking around Quebec (all areas excluding Montreal, which is the New York of Canada #imo) look like this:

Constant smize action? Check. Ethnically ambiguous? Check.
Effortless North American badboy chic? Check.

When really, the vast majority of Quebecois boys (that I've seen) grow up to look like this:

Sorry guys, the image you have in your head belongs on a runway, not reality. 

Anyway, I said all that to say that the whole 'look' can be boiled down to some basic elements. And the training to put this look together, and basically succeed at life and own adolescence, starts from around grade 5. No better place to see it get executed to perfection than at a school disco. So, let's have a look at what I learnt from les gars:-

• You ain't worth jack if you don't have some form of hat action going on. Options include:

The trucker casquette for the traditional boys.

Alternative choices for those unique boys.

The backwards snapback for the conformists.

#SideNote Beibs' general appearance from the start of his career to now, from the neck up, is a pretty accurate representation of the hair/hat situation most boys here try and go for. Who knew?

• A 'long hair don't care' mentality is integral to the majority of your crew:

is clearly the sponsor of all teenage boys in my town.

#SideNote they all claim to despise One Direction but they fully understand and embrace the power of long, un-brushed hair.....

• A school dance is the perfect occasion for you to break out your hair gel and biker jacket that you still haven't grown into yet and the dance is inside.

• It is in no way necessary for you to do any dancing, all you and your crew will do is walk around, steal each others hats for piggy in the middle, play fight or hang around in corners.

• You need to make sure your flannel action is on lock. Otherwise once again, you ain't jack:

If it's not plaid, you better just keep your hoody on, bruh.

• The only interactions with girls you can participate in directly is pushing them, taking selfies or photobombing them.

• When the DJ drops LMFAO Party Rock, it's on. All bets are off. And if you can't shuffle, that's right you guessed it - you ain't jack.

don't be afraid to take the floor and shuffle solo....

or break out with your whole squad, all the kids who
know about life will be doing it with you.