-22, Hairdressers And Homesickness

Well. Somebody LIEDDDDDDDDD!

Ok, I realise, after making my semi-dramatic announcement that I would be posting about the bleak section of my week...I forgot to do so. But! You know how I love you (all three of you) so I'll add it in here :)

Warning, this section will inevitably be soppy and involve discussion regarding:

Homesickness came for me hard this week

No joke. It was completely, and utterly peak.

Let me explain why.

I am one of those only children that likes to go on like I'm little Miss Independent - the Ne-yo version [except without the expensive wardrobe, high paying office job and expensive 18inch weaves]- when really I'm the Miss Self-Sufficient Kelly Clarkson kind [without the comatose house party...or...falling in love....#awks] (for those of you feeling nostalgic, click the links and re-live the videos and lyrics). I ran away to a northern uni, run away to foreign countries as far as I can like say my name is Christopher Columbus....and then I wind up acting like him, stranded, wondering why I came here and half out of my mind.

See, I had thought I was well on my way out of Crisis Period and into adaptation, but no, my emotions decided to make me slide back down the curve. As much as I love my weekend escapades, it comes at a cost. 3 weeks of no family Skype time. Emails and Whatsapp can only go so far. I literally needed some face time, a voice recording, something. Walking to work is long, in more ways than one. It gives me too much time to think, and with my birthday and Christmas coming up (as much as I love them both) it made me realise what I'd be missing:

No mum & dad time
No 2 Christmas day dinners (mum's house and then grandma's, I go to both sides of my family)
No traditional Caribbean ackee and saltfish, fried bacon dumplings, calaloo and fried plantain breakfast (which we've been doing since my other grandad was still alive)
No big present exchange
No squishy baby cousins
No frustration/monopoly tournaments
No goose, no duck
No rum cake
No 5am Boxing Day shopping with my friends/aunty
No disappointing NYE with friends/family

The list goes on but the end result, inevitably was this:

Luckily I kept it together till I made it to the bathroom at school.

I just kept thinking about it too much, getting weepy in the staffroom at lunch like fool. Whatsapping my friends and my mum acting like I was about to buy a flight home. But. Regardless of their support of my wanting to come home for Christmas, my parents never raised a quitter. So. I went to the bathroom, had my moment, got me some tissue, pulled it together...

And I went back to work. Like a grown-up :)

I held out, did what I had to do and today, I Skyped my parents, my cousins and aunt and uncle. That's all I needed, to see and hear them, and I guess to let my self feel like poo and admit I missed them for a few days. Luckily my tears had dried by today so I didn't give them cause to worry....and I may have done a little payday retail therapy yesterday to take the edge off....

Anyway, Skyping with my little cousin (16 y.o.) who's just started college gave me the most jokes by far, which was definitely just what the doctor ordered lol.

Snippets from a Skype convo with my cousin Taisha:

"Mum, let's do this, spud me!"

*she extends her hand off screen. Teeth are kissed and silence follows...*

"Nah, she never spudded me..."

"You think? You must feel like egg innit?"

*We both crack up for 5 minutes*

"I slyly thought she was gonna spud me for a second, you know, heat of the moment and that..."

*I laugh at her some more*

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"You know I'm gonna put you in my blog now..."

"Why? Because I'm (puts on yardie rapper voice) too hot for ya! Too hot for ya! Let me cool ya down!"

*She blows into the camera.....like an eediat.....*

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Obviously this is one of those you just had to BE there moments but still, the point stands. I love my family so much! Always giving me jokes without fail!

Moving swiftly on...

Let me tell you about going on a shopping trip in snow and -22.....

If you are not currently a FLA (Foreign Language Assistant) in Canada, or Russia or somewhere with the equivalent level of cold, you're probably thinking

-22 and this girl wants to go out shopping

You're right but still....

Out here it's kind of a when in Rome situation, and for these Stone Cold Canadians, life goes on. It's not -30 or lower yet (I was gonna put a + but obviously that would be contradictory lol) so everyday errands etc are still feasible. Parents always say teenagers are stupid and refuse to wrap up warm when necessary so they can "look cute" and whatnot. Well. Out here is no different, only in -22 no one should care whether you look nice or not. It's too cold for your boyfriend to just be rockin' a hoody like it's a mild autumn day. It's too cold for you to even part your hair and expose your scalp to the elements with no hat to your name really. But hey, what do I know.

I bundle up as best I can and hit the road. One problem - I'm wearing Primark quality gloves. That leads to fingers burning inside said gloves. Carrying heavy shopping and walking home in said cold weather means after burning fingers, circulation leaves your hands and even when you make it home and take of your gloves, your fingers are stuck in the claw shape you used to carry your bags and will not unfurl until circulation returns. Let that be the last time I wear inferior gloves. Toes and face being frosty I can just about manage. But cold hands is just too much!

I left my house at 9:30am, got back at 11:25pm......

I had to go all the way to Ottawa to find (the only existing) a reputable black hairdresser, because my situation was dire. Milkmaid braids and braid-outs can only get you so far in this freezing weather. So I booked myself a 5pm appointment while my bank account could take it. With 5 and a 1/2 hours to kill, I went shopping and Starbucks-ing. Bought my Secret Santa for the Christmas Chalet week with the assistants, some much needed foundation, some not so necessary eyebrow pencil, some highly unnecessary red Christmassy lipstick and my free (and therefore ofc mandatory) birthday gift from Sephora. For all the money they take from me, freebies is the least they can do. I spoke to a lovely Makeup Forever MUA (makeup artist) called Melody/Melanie who helped my try out lippies, discussed this ridiculous weather and her desire for a romantic (kids free) weekend in London. I obviously told her summer was her best shot at nice weather lol, but at least our ~~fake~~ cold weather wouldn't be an issue for her or her family.

I also bought my dream (read painfully expensive but necessary) winter coat which will be travelling back to the UK with me (Manchester, come at me bro! I'm ready!). I love the winter gear that has been donated to me but, not only can I not take them home, those Lilly Whites luminous blue and black camping coats are more practical than stylish....

Money was also spent in Forever21. I need jumpers and jeans. That is all.

Finally, my hair appointment. I got there before 5. But, baring in mind, it's -22, snowing, and this is a black hair salon. You know the odds were not "ever in my favour". One of the stylists went home sick. And the last two customers before me were weaves. Anyone who knows about weaves knows that that's at least an hour wait. At the same time, if you miss your appointment slot, and the person after you is ready, waiting, has her hair and money to pay, you will be skipped. #Politics

I made it into her chair at 7pm, left at 8:30pm. Not too bad considering when she permed my hair there was no scalp protector involved (believe I said a prayer when she applied the relaxer, can't afford no chemical burns or bald patches! Or a year's worth of good wigs or weaves for that matter). But everything went well. Until she pulled out the straighteners.

The end result had me looking like Aibleen Clark's work wig on The Help: