Welcome to February kids! Otherwise known as, welcome to the real winter, this is where things get serious.

We've had a taste of -20s, -30s, icy roads and heaps of snow. But now, for the most part, the snow and cold is here to stay so, follow Bey's example and wrap up warm.

My look these days is a slightly more budget version, ofc...

In other news:

Marc Anthony please be my personal singer + house band? Por favor?
Les baptistes evangeliques de Buckingham are alright by me!
The first rule of Teachers Zumba Club is you don't talk about Teachers Zumba Club
The trifecta
Teacher's (appreciation) Day!
My kids still say ridiculous things....
My return to the real Isla Bonita (no, sadly it's not Jamaica this time :[ )

I don't care, I am not ashamed! I love Marc Anthony. As far as the old school gen of music is concerned, he is my favourite male singer right now. Period. In his heyday, he was bangin! I don't really know about this skinny uncle/Johnny Depp look he has going on right now (tucking shirts into jeans + dress shoes is never a look I will champion) but his voice has not changed. Marc, please I beg, sing me to sleep, sing at my wedding, my funeral. Just be in my life and sing at any random moment. My Zumba instructor soothed all the pain she causes me during class by playing this as our cooldown track:

*shuts eyes, puts hands in air, proceeds to salsa and sway around the room with her imaginary dance partner*

I finally got my entire life together and used one of my precious free Sundays to take my behind back (well to a new) to church. As I explained in another post, my options are: Catholic x2, United and Evangelical Baptist. EB was pretty much the only option I considered safe. And it was a good bet! My first visit was a bit bleak. The rest of the Gang was sleeping at mine while I ducked out early to go, I couldn't really take it all in because I knew I had to rush back to meet them for breakfast before they left. The whole time though (both visits) I was basically looking for a sign that this was where I should stay.....I got it anyway, between singing French (and even English!) versions of songs I know from my own church in the UK to the family vibe I picked up, the way they engaged with the kids and this one guy coming up to me, introducing me to like, everyone, including his whole family - he has the most adorable babies!!!! - and how everyone was so sweet, Evangelical Baptists will do nicely I think.

#SideNote

There were still some of those cute awkward moments that happen when you're in a small town full of old people/families. Questions like?

Where are you from? - gotta love the where are you froms, people always like to make sense of the brown.

I knew a pentecostal guy once, boy when you guys pray you PRAY - i.e. we make up noise lol, good to know our reputation precedes us haha.

Are you married, then? - ah the older gen, can't hit 20+ before people ask where your husband and kids are at LOL.

You're so beautiful! That skin! - being exotic can be fun sometimes I guess. But you know when (usually older) women complement you, like what they're saying is a shock, they're so astounded by it that they slap you. This woman punctuated the beautiful by hitting me on the arm while holding it in the other hand, had to fight not to crack up loool.

I think I'm gonna like it with this bunch. Plus the dinner invites are already rolling innn!

So, a little bird (my new bestie - she doesn't know it yet - a.k.a the school secretary) told me that some of the school staff do Zumba during lunch at school. Who knew? Some little underground fitness society! I'm telling you the women in this school don't ramp, salads and veggies/fruit for lunch and now I find out their secretly getting in workouts too.

Tbf, at first I thought, losing my lunch time by awkwardly moving and sweating with a bunch of people I don't know, some of whom blank me (or we mutually blank each other)? No, ta. But then, I had to be honest with myself, it was either that or sit on my butt for 1hr15mins eating and checking my phone for any hopes of conversation while several go one around (but do not include) me.

Lesson: No one in the adult world feels bad when you
sulk because no-one is talking to you...

So. What the hell. I ~~snuck~~ sneaked into the bathroom and changed into my budget, mismatched workout gear (thank you MELs for that lovely green t-shirt) and went to the library to await my fate.....you know what though?

Forget the teachers fam, the other staff in the school are JOKERS!!! Usually there's only 4-5 of us, some class assistants/special ed. workers, the secretary and the librarian, and we're in there cracking up! That bougie staffroom lot can keep their stank convos I like the zumba bunch sooooo much better! These women are literally such clowns, it's just us and the DVD so our 'class' pretty much goes like this:

Our motto should be: look stupid, get sweaty, be happy.

Take today for instance. We're doing the Menea Menea workout. So there was plenty of awkward hip rolling going on, a little like this:

Love how the "prettiest" ones come stiff like board.
But check Louis though - He knows what time it is!

One of the best things about it is no-one speaks English (barring me and my fake bestie) but they all love repeating the swag DVD commentary.

#SideNote to these Chickens (Kass, Gina, Tanya and Loretta) right here - ___ -

Kass - No I will not tell you 'what's my flow', and no one cares what Loretta's 'flavah' is so stop asking.

Tanya - No I will not give you a little spice, a little pump, a little 'flavah'. I cannot shimmy while trying to salsa at the same time as arm curls and lunges. After you're a fitness instructor and a trained dancer. No one has time for you and you teenie tiny sports bra. No one cares for you going 'uuuunnnhh!' 'yea yea!'. Go away man.

Loretta - You barely spoke during the whole DVD. While this is a plus, how do you feel bae? No one couldn't give you a few lines to say? Go stand in the back with the others.

Gina - Cease and desist telling me to 'back it up' and no I cannot show you what I'm 'working with'. I can't do a 'simple' samba singlesingledouble step when you didn't teach it to us, so there is definitely no way I've 'got it'. Don't tell me to march it out and then proceed to two step all across the floor with all the other dancers - oops participants - on some strobe light dance floor. THIS IS NOT A RAVE, MAN.

à la Raven Symone

Anywayyyy, along with the menea menea move our favourite phrase in class is the 'booty pump' which they pronounce 'boody pom'. I feel for who ever walks past the door and hears shouts of 'Woo! Yeah! Boody pom pom pommm!'

I kid you not, at the end of the workout as I turned away to put back tables and grab my stuff, I turn back around and see the librarian by the window going 'Menea, menea, menea, meneaaaa!!!!'.

This woman had me crying all the way back to the staffroom.

I've finally done it! Lift to school in the mornings + offer for an earlier lift if I want it, lift home from school if it's the right time, plus lifts to and from Zumba on Wednesdays!

Today was pretty good coincidentally. Teacher's Day meant two things for me. Getting congratulated and double kissed by the school guidance counsellor who actually knew my name!!! (She did the same to all the other teachers but caringgg -which, obv means I do not...) And my grade 5 class telling me I'm the greatest/best ELA everrrr and hugging me (I didn't even have to make them) which basically made me feel like Michelle Obama for 5 minutes lol.

The madness never ends I swear. Today's highlights:

*I told them to come up with journalist names for their news stories based on the Holocaust book we'r reading in grade 6*

Me: You can't have that as a name, you can't call yourself Jesus. I meant like a first name, last name thing.

Girl: Jesus Christ! [her suggestion]

Me:....No....and that's not His last name....

*later in that class*

Girl: Can I put my last name as Hitler? [she was trying to make her name an ironic joke]

Me: No.

Girl: Why not? [ she honest to God didn't see it]

Me: Because that might be offensive to some people. [Definitely, to a large majority who know anything about life]

.........................................................................................................................................

*In grade 5, G1's sister is tanned, brunette and brown eyed, she is blue eyed, pale and blonde, she asked G2 if it was the same with her sister, G2 was "darker"...convo murmurs on, and then.....*

Me hearing this off key discussion about to pop off...

Girl 1: Miss Emma was a little whiter than you, right?

^She may as well have started with ^

Me: Wait what?

how I wanted to look at her .

what I wanted to say.

Girl 1: You don't find, she was a bit whiter than you?

Girl 2: Yea, you don't think?

Me: *holding up my forearm* a bit?

what I wanted to say really....

Boy: Nah, you're noi-err darker, Miss Emma was bla-err whi-err way lighter... [bless him he didn't want to offend me but he could see what was wrong with the conversation lol]

Me: No, Mss Emma is white (I think, I know she's not black though lol), I am black.

*minor discussion of darker/lighter/whiter*

Girl 1 to Girl 2: [she saw nothing lol] So you're black!

Girl 2: I'm not black I'm just tan!

Me:

*To the tune of I Woke Up In a New Bugatti*

I went and booked my flight to Cuba!

Please believe there was a victory dance moment, LBG can testify to that. So, while everyone else will spend March thawing out in prep for summer, I'll hopefully be catching some rays and reconnecting with some of the great people I met. Peak if Cuba is rubbish the 2nd time around!!! For now though, my only goal is to not roll up in Havana looking like this: