If I told you all the things I did last week, you wouldn't believe me.. (Updates from 2 weeks ago...sorry....)

I felt my London-ness shrivel up and die a little this past week, not gonna lie. Who would have thought 5 days outside of my little Buckingham would have been such a roller coaster?

Not me dammit.

So. What happened you ask? Let me give you 4 words.

1. Waterfall 
2. Training 
3. Lumberjack-shack 
4. Rudolph 

(oh that last one is a doozie)




Alright, lets talk training:

All the assistants in the land - Canadians, Mexicans, English and Chinese - gathered for an all expenses paid hotel stay #winning in QC for 3 to basically discuss how we've survived this long in our primary/secondary school/university/adult education classes. We shared problems, solutions, stories, drank (and stole saved for later) free tea/coffee/juice like grown-ups in our separate meetings.

We were then be pumped full of all the teaching knowledge of the past few decades courtesy of Jacqueline a.k.a the good Christian female version of Yoda.

She's a brilliant teacher but nan runs through her veins so hard. Every story linked to an anecdote about one of her students - #SideNote the woman has skills because the way her students have grown up to be mechanics, engineers and doctors... - or one of her adopted children (boy - Cambodia, girl - Vietnam), or her grandchildren and how they learnt to speak, in English or in French.

She was so cute! ^^ Something straight out of the fifties. Taught us how to do 'ballin the jack', a cute little dance from the fifties! I wish I could have taught her to migraine skank or something, the woman put energy into her moves man!

If you wish to make my dreams come true press play on these two videos (dance vid on mute) and match the music with the dance to see how I would do 'ballin the jack' in my world - yes, I have nothing better to do than find things like this loool.

(mute)

(play in time)

Then came the lumberjack-shack experience....

Basically this was the equivalent of a uni social, we all had to dress up as lumberjacks - lots of plaid... - and go to a sugar shack (the cabin in the woods where they collect sap from maple trees and make sugar/syrup/candy etc). We learnt how they make it - I remember nothing - and then allllllll had a big old meal. By meal I mean : baked beans, boiled potatoes, scrambled eggs (that's right), homemade meat pie, slices of ham, pancakes and bread...yeah.....can't lie, for the meal part my face was caught between:

Are you serious right now?? shock

and yes, this is seriously happening, this is dinner, hidden behind ooh yummy! cheerful acceptance.

Entertainment consisted of the accordion playing equivalent of Pavarotti, playing his greatest hits including popular renditions of the 'Chicken Song', the 'Macarena' and 'YMCA'..........

And for the cabaret show, some of the English, Mexicans, Germans and Canadians (some in mixed batches) prepared talent acts to show us. The Germans pretty much slaughtered everybody with an amazing performance of the cup song, but the Brits + 1 Mex + 1 Canadian did an excellent improv of comedy and drama. On the musical side of things there was an acoustic rendition of 'Blurred Lines', songs from all the Canadian provinces, guitar solos, a band playing an Irish jig - yes there was jigging, Mexican singing and salsa etc. It was interesting for me, my version of  a party usually involves a dark room, pounding bass line and veeeeery different dancing but it was actually fun for the most part.


After our 3 day non-getaway the LBG decided to hit Montreal on the way home. But before leaving QC we went to visit the Montmorrency waterfall. A very unwise decision ensued.

We took photos from a loooovely distance....saw a rainbow....obviously we chased it and ended up way too close to the falls. And then we thought, well, lets go up the stairs and go as close as humanly possible.

#SideNote

• It was so cold our fingers (which had no gloves to their name) were burning.
• We had no umbrellas.
• We did not realise that waterfalls, are wet.

So, between getting stuck when we got close, and essentially getting drowned, we ended up having to change clothes in the parking lot and dry our coats (somewhat) on the hood of the car like hillbillies....my coat did not dry so I spend the rest of my time in Montreal shivering like a shaved bird in winter....

 

The biggest highlight of the Montreal drive by was the Rudolph burger.

OK lemme explain. Me and my Uncle share a motto 'try (read eat) everything once'. So we love to try weird food like crocodile sausage (don't be immature those of you who live in the gutter) and dragon fruit etc. So when I saw that little beauty on the menu, and seeing as me and Joe were not having any luck finding places to eat moose meat, we went for it!

It wasn't actually reindeer though, it was wapiti (elk), the bigger, bulkier cousin:

the burger was ordinary looking (and tasty, like sweet, rich beef) but look how hardbody (if you don't know this word, Urban Dictionary is your friend) they look in this photo looool.

Right, now that I'm once again up to date...Ima leave it here, eat dinner and do some prep!

X